Swine Flu

Dear Daniel:

My daughter thinks she has the swine flu. In an effort to validate her concerns, I sent her the following email...

Have you been in contact with pigs?
Did those pigs have stuffy noses?
Were they lethargic piggies?
Have you been to Mexico lately?
Have you been to Mexico EVER?
Do you know anyone who’s been to Mexico lately?
Do you wear a sombrero?
Have you been to St. Francis Prep high school? I’ve been to St. Francis Prep High School. It’s a very nice school except for all the children dropping dead from playing with the sick piggies.
Do you have a fever?
Is it high enough to rival one of my hot flashes?
Do you like midgets?

If you answered yes to more than two of these questions, please contact your health care advisor. Leave me out of it. Thank you.